Myspace and Facebook have become a popular means of communication in today's age. And yet, these two websites have become a big reason for friendships and intimate relationships being put into jeopardy. Both websites have put peoples' lives out in the open, willingly. Yes, they are a means of keeping in touch with distant or rekindled friendships. But, they are also a source of finding out who really considers you a friend; and if they do consider you a friend, how special of a friend you are to them by being placed on their top friends list.
A top friends list can be the root of all evil or it can be like winning the lotto. If you've made it onto a friend's top 8, 12, or whatever the hell numbers they choose then congratulations are in order. You've just won the lotto of friendship. If you haven't made it onto a particular friend's top list, then sucks for you. I guess you're not really considered "special" to that person. Being lucky enough to have made the list makes you a special friend. "How special of a friend am I?" you might ask yourself. Well, just take a look at which number that friend has placed you at on the list. To those of you that didn't make the list this doesn't apply. If you are one of the winners then checking to see which number you've been placed at is of utter most importance. This is some serious shit in the cyber world of friendships.
Your number of placement on a top friends list is a sensitive subject and can be very hurtful when you feel that your friendship with someone is extraordinary enough for you to place that person at the top of your list only to find out that that "extraordinary friend" doesn't feel the same. For they have gone and placed you toward the bottom of their list. "I thought our friendship meant so much more," you might say to yourself as you heart sinks a little while you move that friend to the bottom of your list. Or, if bitter enough, you take them off of your list entirely. "Why don't you hang out with someone on your top four? Since it's obvious you consider them a better friend than me," you accidentally yell into the receiver of your phone while talking to your former friend. Just because you've been placed at the bottom of their list doesn't mean you have to get all postal. Nor does it mean that the friendship has to end. It just means that your friendship with that person isn't what you thought it was.
Then again, who's to say that placement on the list even really matters? Some place their friends in order of the length of time in which they've known that friend. And then there is the majority who place their friends in the order of importance. If you ask me, this whole top friends list is a load of crap. I don't need to know that my friend considers me one of their top 4 friends or not. As long as the friendship stays the same, there's no back-stabbing, lying, and they continue to laugh at my lame jokes then they are all right in my book. That's why I removed my top friends list from both Myspace and Facebook. For those who are my true friends, you know who you are. I don't need to place you in order of importance. And for those of you that wouldn't have made the list, if I had one, will never know.
This brings on some food for thought: Is it morally correct to classify your friends, numerically, on a list for the rest of the world to see? And if you make a top friends list, does the number your friend placed you at make you that much more or less special to your friend? Top friends lists remind me of being back in public school as a kid. To make the top friends list is like being the "in crowd" with the name brand clothing, and to not be on the list is like being a nobody at school wearing clothes from Wal-Mart.
For instance, a friend of mine, let's call her Madonna, had me on her list one notch ahead of a mutual friend we had, let's call her Tiffany. Tiffany was upset that I came before her on the list. Apparently she felt that her friendship with Madonna was more special than my friendship with Madonna. It got to the point where I told Madonna to take me off of her list completely because I'd rather not be on her list. I already knew that our friendship meant something to her regardless of where I was placed.
And that is why I feel a top friends list is a bunch of cockamamie. I mean, honestly, should our friendships be based on order of importance? Does it really matter whether or not I come before or after someone on a top friends list? Hell to the no. I'm just lucky enough to have the friends that I do have.
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