Mind Blown

Why is it that people who cheat on you love to tell you how much they still care about you? Really? Because if you really cared, then you wouldn't have cheated. And why do they continue to deny they cheated even when you know the truth? Then again, do cheaters ever really admit it? Here's something I wrote about my ex-wife:


Mind Blown

When you were fucking him the first time
Did thoughts of me, your wife, ever cross your mind?
How about the times you went back for 2nds, thirds, and fourths?
And probably more.
Hell, I don't even want to know.
My mind's blown.
How could you let a good thing go?

Cheating comes so easily to you
It must be in your genes
Like mother like daughter
At least it seems
You were trying so hard not to be like her
But at the end of the day
You and her are one in the same

At first my heart broke
My earth was shattered
You wanting it to end without us even trying
It's like what we had to you didn't matter
But now I'm glad that it's over
We're officially through
He'll be left to deal with all your bullshit
And when he finds out the real you
He'll play you like you played me
You'll come crawling back to me on bended knees
Saying, baby please!

You used to say what starts in chaos ends in chaos
You were never one to take your own advice
Quick to give but never easy to take
When I look back and think of our beginning
And now the end
I just can't understand
You were the first to say it:
I love you.
I'm in love with you.
Erica, I want to marry you.
But marriage doesn't mean a damn thing to you
Because like a mirror to our beginning
You were the first to want it all to end
You look at me now
like I'm nothing more to you than
A stranger
Not even a friend

I gave you my heart, my soul, my all.
Anything I could give it was yours
I should have realized I was on a one way street
I was giving you everything
And what about me?
You never treated me as good as I did you
There were signs all around me:
Your always getting drunk when we'd go out
And my struggling to get you home.
You always turned arguments around
Making me out to be the one in the wrong.
Not too mention you always put your friends before me.
I was the one always doing for you.
You cried about past loves
And the rough life you lived.
I was only trying to protect you,
Showing you what true love is.
But it's all over now.
Even though my heart is chopped up and screwed
Some day someone amazing will come along
To help me with the pain.
I'll be a better person.
And you'll still be the same.

I'll place you somewhere
Deep in the back of my mind.
And I know that from time to time
The portrait of your face
Will block my vision.
No matter how hard I'll try to fight it
There will be nothing I can do.
Because just like ol' Lady Day sang:
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you.

I just hope not for long
Because it's time for me to move on.
My heart can't bare this pain forever.

Heartbreaks and Bellyaches

Here's an in-the-works poem about a recent heartbreak:


The way you look at me
I can see the love is gone
No warmth in your smile
You've already moved on

No matter how hard I try
Or anything I do
You look at me like
I'm a stranger
A damn fool